Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
