man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
