I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
where are you?
Hypothermia
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
