So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize