oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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