About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
