i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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