When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
