I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
