It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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