Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize