there's paper in my vomit.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
