so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
