This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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