i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Two words: blizzard sex
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
