dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
