ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Panties = found
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