He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
