Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
