just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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