...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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