if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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