last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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