Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How external is "for external use only"?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
