addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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