i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
