He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
