bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Randomize
