I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Boobs are out for the taking
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
