you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
