I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
