You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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