are you still at the devil's house?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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