then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize