don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im holly from the hills drunk
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
