:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
