So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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