I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
smell my finger.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize