a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
