So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
