I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
