Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Your cock deserves a montage
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
