Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
