I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
