do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
