hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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