just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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