If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
