In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am mentally ready for anal.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
