so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
