ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
