So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize