I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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