i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
