Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
