i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
