Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
