Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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